Learning How to Say Sorry
I’ll admit it, I hate when I’m wrong. I think that makes me pretty normal. I don’t especially like saying sorry either. Unfortunately, I find myself in the position of having to apologize more often than I’d like to admit. Typically, I sound exactly like my 4-year old when the time comes for my to apologize. If you have kids, you know exactly what I’m talking about!
Seriously, though, knowing how to apologize is an important part of being in a relationship. Sometimes it’s just got to be done.
Before you can learn how to say sorry, you’ve got to be able to admit that you did something wrong in the first place. And that’s where the problem comes in…for me at least. It’s not fun to admit that you’re wrong. For some people, it’s darn near impossible. Here’s a hint for you though, if you are fighting with your boyfriend or husband, chances are that it’s at least partly your fault.
Once you are able to admit to yourself that you did something wrong, you’ve got to make up your mind to apologize. There are two basic ways to say you’re sorry. You can actually say it or you can write it. Which method you decide to use may very well depend on the severity of the argument and your personal feelings about apologizing. For some people, an apology comes easy. For others, like me, it’s a nightmare.
I usually choose the written apology for any wrongdoing greater than forgetting to pick something up from the store or staining his favorite shirt. Writing allows me to think about what I want to say…it also masks that sneer in my voice that always seems to show up right at the time that it’s time to say I’m sorry.
But what about those times when you know that you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, but you really don’t believe that you’ve done anything wrong. For example, you have a disagreement with your boyfriend or husband about finances. During the disagreement, that really ended up to be more like a fight, you said some things that hurt your sweeties feelings. After it’s over, you feel sorry that you hurt his feelings, but you stand by what you said in the first place. How can you apologize when you don’t believe that you’ve done anything wrong?
During situations like these, it’s important to stay true to what you believe. For the sake of your relationship, it’s also important to work things out with your guy. During situations like this, I like to apologize for the pain that I caused without apologizing for the way that I feel.
In the end, sometimes you’ve just got to suck it up and say you’re sorry, even if you don’t want to. Heck, sometimes you have to say it even when you don’t mean it. In a relationship, we aren’t just responsible for our own feelings – we’ve got the feelings of someone else to think about. Learning to say sorry (without sounding like a 4-year old) is going to go a long way in making your relationship a happier one.