May December Relationships – Its not Always about Money
I’m the May in a May December relationship, and I’ll be the first to tell you that it’s not always the easiest kind of relationship to be in. I’ll also tell you that I’ve had just about as much as I can take of what seems to be the popular opinion that it must be about money.
May December relationships have become more accepted in recent years, probably in part due to high-profile couples like Hugh Hefner and whatever women he happens to be dating at any given time and Donald Trump and his penchant for younger wives. Unfortunately, those relationships have also led mainstream America to believe that any younger woman with an older man must be with him for money.
That simply isn’t the case. Are there women who date older men for money? I’m sure there are. There are lots and lots of people who date and marry for the wrong reasons….that’s partly why so many marriages end in divorce.
I’d just like to point out, for all the other women like me, who happen to be in a May December relationship with a man that they really love, that it isn’t always about the money. I’ll be the first to admit that dating a much older man isn’t easy. In fact, we tried not to date for some time. There just seemed to be too many things standing in the way of us being able to have a long-term relationship. Like the fact that he had never had any children and I have three – all under the age of 13. And the fact that chances are he’ll die right about the time I’m ready to retire. There were lots of things to stop us from starting a relationship, and only one thing in favor of us moving forward…and it wasn’t money!
There is really no point to my post today, except that I’m a little irked about yet another comment that I heard recently about my relationship. And since I have a blog, I’m entitled to get irked if I want to. But since I like to have something of substance to say when I write, here’s a few things I’d just like to throw out there:
For those of you who are happy in a May December relationship with someone who you really love – ignore the things that you sometimes hear. When people don’t understand something, it’s normal for them to dismiss it in a manner that allows them to understand. As long as we know that we are in a relationship for the right reasons, we don’t need to worry about what others think.
For those of you who have feelings for someone who is much younger or older than you, but are denying your feelings because you are concerned what others might say…do what’s right for you and forget all the rest of it. You’re the one who has to wake up every morning and live your life – do it in a way that will bring you love and happiness.
And, last, for my friends that don’t understand that two people can love each other even when they were born in different years. It’s not always about money, sex, or a woman that didn’t have a good father. Sometimes people just fall in love. Can’t that be good enough?
For more reading on May December relationships, check out the book What’s Age Got to Do With It?
Tags: Dating, Dating an older man, May December Relationship, may december romance, relationship advice
February 5th, 2009 at 3:09 am
I’m also in a May December relationship and am in full agreement with you.
I love my partner very much although we also do have our difficulties.
But no relationship is perfect or without ups and downs. I know what people say and think but it’s My business, not their’s.
Age should be of no significance in a relationship, especially when their is love.
February 11th, 2009 at 12:09 am
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February 11th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Pastfirst, thanks for chiming in! I couldn’t agree with you more!! All relationships have difficulties – those of us in May/December relationships are no different than anyone else. And you are absolutely right, your relationship is your business, and yours alone.
When people were “concerned” about the age difference in my relationship, I kindly reminded them that I was the one who had to wake up next to my partner every morning and I’d be making the decisions regarding who I would and would not be waking up next to.
We’ve all got to make our own decisions in life!
March 20th, 2009 at 4:13 am
Great post. I do believe age shouldn’t be a factor in relationships.Some do prefer older men maybe because of their maturity and that honestly is their choice.It would be very unfair to judge their decision.
March 20th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Yes. I regret that I have not been back on here in awhile but I just wanted to say, my other half and I have been together for 6 wonderful years, and we are 29 almost 30 years apart. People have their say sometimes, but to tell the truth we just don’t care. Sure, every relationship has issues now and again but to be honest we really have very little problems, we are so deeply in love and have been for a long time. We have never had a screaming match, nor would we ever, because that is just not us. We rarely fight, and if we do it is usually just a misunderstanding. I support his career, he has supported me through college and I now have a career and a job in accounting. I don’t know what I would do without him.
We are so connected and so involved with one another in every way. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am to have found him. It was harder in the beginning because of what he thought his family would think and so on and so forth because I was 19, and he was 48 almost 49. I just supported him the whole way through. It took some getting used to and some talking through things but his family loves me now just as much as they do their other daughter. They thought I was with him for his money but truth be told I didn’t even know he had money the first 2 years we were together. I would never be with someone for their money! What kind of life is that? The life I have is waking up next to the love of my life forever. He is my everything and I can say that we are extremely happy and wouldn’t even think of anything else. We love everyday together! He is my blondie…im his redhead…yes I know that sounds stupid, but- it’s just our pet names. He is my best friend and always has been through it all, What can I say? This may not be right for everyone, but it definitely is for me. I have always been mature and thought men my age were so not even close to my league mentally or emotionally. They don’t know what they want and what is really a priority, they really just want sex. That sounds cliche but I have been with my fair share of guys and it is true! This man is everything I have ever wanted and more. He is my Michael. I will love him til death do us part. We got married 3 years ago…and it has been the best 3 years of my life! F—- people that don’t understand this. That is just too bad. Age has nothing to do with love. Love is love. You’re right, people just fall in love because they are meant for each other. That should be good enough. I will be with him through it all, and I know he will be with me.
April 27th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
How To Book for Men Interested in Getting Involved In May-December Relationships:
“How to Date Older Women” 978-1-4357-2073-2
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June 15th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
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