My Lil Red Dress

It’s a well-known fact that marriage & finances cause a lot of problems. Since this whole economic crisis has hit, I can’t help but think that lots more couples are having fights about finances. I know that there has been some stress in my house over money since the seemingly never-ending fall of our economy.

But economic crisis aside, marriage & finances have been an issue for couples, probably since the beginning of time. Part of the problem may be that many couples don’t spend that much time talking about money before they get married. It’s just not one of those things that is at the top of most people’s priority list when they are busy with the business of falling in love. Eventually the knot is tied and all of the sudden you realize that you and your spouse have very different ideas about how to spend (or save) money. One person may be a spender; the other a saver. Or, two spenders get married and then start to fight when the money runs out and the debts start to pile up.

How we feel about money is affected by lots of things and our habits likely started when we were small children. We’re affected, either negatively or positively, by how our parents handled money. We’re probably also affected by lots of other factors, not the least of is our personality.

The good news is that finances don’t have to ruin a marriage, even when you feel like they might. If you and your spouse are in love and are committed to your marriage, you can work out money issues – heck, you can even learn something from each other.

The best advice is to start talking to each other about money. Learn about your spouses past and try to understand what affects that way that he feels about spending or saving. One of the best things that you can do to bring peace to your marriage & finances is to set mutual goals. If you and your spouse can set goals together, the chances of you working together to meet the goal go up exponentially.

Here’s a tip that you probably won’t like, but it’s worth saying…you’ve got to compromise. Even if you are completely right (and you know you are!), you know that compromise is part of marriage. The same is true for marriage & finances. If both parties are willing to give a little, you’ll both end up happier in the long run.

My husband and I recently started going through a book called The Couple’s Guide to Love & Money. I can’t say enough good about this book. We both learned our “money personality” and tons of great ideas that we’ve used to get on the same page, financially speaking. This is a must-read book for any couple that’s having issues about money. It’s also a great book, with tons of worksheets and other information for engaged couples and those who are getting married.

Don’t allow the problems that come with marriage & finances ruin your relationship – it’s really not worth it. Make it a priority to work through your money issues together – your relationship will be stronger in the long run.

Have you and your spouse successfully worked through financial issues together? What worked? What didn’t? We’d love to hear about it!

Tags: fighting over finances, marriage and money, marriage finanace, marriage finances

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