My Lil Red Dress

I have a friend that breaks up with her boyfriend what seems like at least once a week. They are constantly breaking up and getting back together. It seems a little ridiculous to me, but it seems to work for them. Sadly, I think that there have got to be issues in their relationship, that unless worked out, will cause them to continue down this path until they eventually break up for good.

Breaking up and getting back together is common among those dating and even among married couples who are toying with the idea of separation and/or divorce.

I think it comes down to the age old, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”

If you’re in a relationship where you are constantly breaking up and getting back together, it may be time to think about why you’re doing it and whether or not it’s really healthy for you.

For example, do you get back together with your boyfriend or husband because you are afraid of being alone? I suspect that’s a pretty common reason for reconnecting after a break up and it’s definitely the WRONG reason.

If you are constantly breaking up and getting back together, are you resolving the problems that caused the break up in the first place? If you constantly fight about one or two major issues but no one ever changes – you are wasting your time. On the other hand, if you are both willing to get help with your problems and are willing to make some changes, then things may work out.

My friend tells me that she gets back together with her boyfriend because she’s been with him so long that she would feel like she had wasted her time if she didn’t give the relationship “one more chance.” I bet that’s pretty common – but it doesn’t really make that much sense. If it’s truly one more chance, that might be okay. When it becomes one hundred more chances, it gets a little out of hand. In my (very humble) opinion, she only started wasting time when she stayed with him after she realized that it probably wasn’t going to work.

For some people, breaking up and getting back together seems to be a part of life. If you’re one of those people, just make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons!

If you’ve been in this position, tell us your story. How many times have your broken up and gotten back together? How did it work out for you? Was your relationship better or did you end up breaking up again?

Tags: Dating, relationship advice

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